Dry Humping in Wool Pants: Don’t

May 9, 2011 § Leave a comment

I went through a phase in high school where I wore a lot of tight fitting pants tailored for females. I had on such a pair of pants, patterned with a baby blue plaid and made out of wool, when I experienced dry humping for the first time. I was so excited by the dry humping – oh my god I’m dry humping a girl – that I didn’t even notice when my erect penis slipped out of the hole in the front of my boxers and began rubbing on the wool of the pants in rhythm with my pelvic thrusts.

When the session was over, I realized there was a great deal of pain emanating from the head of my penis. Upon going into the bathroom for an inspection, I discovered I had fairly thoroughly carpet burned the underside of the head of my penis, leaving it rather bloody and raw.

I couldn’t touch my penis for weeks. The myriad morals of this story are fairly self-evident, I think.

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